Here’s the text from one of those usually-not-so-great, unsolicited e-mails that may be interesting to you. The author is unknown. Feel free to step up and identify yourself.

–Nissa Darbonne, Executive Editor, Oil and Gas Investor, A&D Watch, Today,,;

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Bear Market: A 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance; the wife gets no jewelry . Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower. Broker: What my broker has made me. Standard & Poor: Modern investment life life in a nutshell. Stock Analyst: Jerk who just downgraded your stocks. Stock Split: When the ex and his/her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. Financial Planner: A guy whose phone has been disconnected. Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks. Cash Flow: The movement of your money down the toilet. Yahoo!: What you yell after selling this stock to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

Profit: An archaic word no longer in use.